something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
