is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
