Well apparently he's into motor boating.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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