Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
