So drunk its hurt
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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