i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Randomize