On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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