Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
