I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
