I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
This is the high leading the old right now
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
