Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
