You really coming over, don't trick.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
