he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
that may or may not have been my penis.
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