I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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