The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize