I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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