Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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