If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
