actually, I'm a sock model
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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