its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
