People with herpes should wear stickers.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
