P.S. I can't hear my feet
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
