I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
