This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
