I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
