You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
