Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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