Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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