Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
