Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
