Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize