she smelled like a LAN party
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
