I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
