Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
