all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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