I must be too annoying 4 u.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
