He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We talked him into tasing himself.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
