my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
