Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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