We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sorry about my life...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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