We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
