Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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