Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
