big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
