it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
time to smoke my breakfast
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
