After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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