so that wasnt chicken after all
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
