I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
