just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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