eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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