For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
