Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
