I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
