Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
