Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
