you win again, gameday.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
