the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
