Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
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