Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
we're so committed to being not committed
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
