Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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