so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
