Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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