I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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