it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
