I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
