last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize