guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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