so explain again why im purple
no
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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