sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We're using joints as your birthday candles
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
